


Off-Days

by Food1



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, References to Depression, SangNew is underappreciated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 17:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Food1/pseuds/Food1
Summary: Chanhee had an off-day during his trip on Tokyo, Sangyeon was there to help after the trip.





	Off-Days

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably bad sorry.

Chanhee never showed it to others but it hurt sometimes. When the members would hit Chanhee playfully, it hurts. When the members make fun of him, it hurts. When the members neglect him, it hurts. Everything hurts. It felt abusive. It felt painful.

It was hurting him.

He did not know when everything started, he used to be loved by everyone. He used to be respected. Everything wasn't so painful. When did everything change?

Colorful became dull, excitements became boring, smiles turned to deapanned faces, laughs became screams of agony and love became painful. Everything turned to the worse, well at least for him. Everyone seemed to be living quite well aside from him. From a perspective, it might seem unnoticeable, he does try to act better when on camera, but if you take a closer look, it's quite obvious that he was in agony. Too bad, everyone was in a very far perspective.

He had considered killing himself, suicidal if you must. He was very tempted to do it. He wanted to be selfish for once. Sometimes, it was too overwhelming to live. Besides...

It was better if he was dead.

But what about the other people that care about him? He hasn't met anyone that really do. Was there anyone who did though? Probably not.

He was not worth loving anyway. Annoying. Loud. Ugly. Worthless. Untalented. He should've not been born in this world. He was like the fire in a forest fire. Too overwhelming, like a nuisance, a destroyer. He was like every bad thing in the whole world compiled together. That's probably the reason why he does not try to persevere anymore.

Why work hard when everything is a waste anyway? No one will appreciate your hard work. You'll be in the shadow of someone else. Everything is a waste of time. He is a waste of time. He is a waste of space. He is nothing but a waste. Something that should be thrown out. A piece of trash. He is trash in general.

So can he please stop lying to him?

**[Tokyo, Japan]**

Chanhee sighed as he looked out the window. The city lights were giving color to the otherwise dark city while the people walked towards whatever location they need to go to. It was always the same thing. Every city he went to, it was always dark. No matter how many lights they try to put up, it will always remain dark. Lights were temporary anyway. One day they are there but once you stop giving them what they need from you, they're gone, leaving a trace to remind you of how much of a piece of shit you are. They're not wrong though. He is a piece of shit.

Then his phone rang, he looked at the ID of the caller, it read: 이상연. He sighed and answered the phone.

_"Yeoboseyo?"_

_"Hey Chanhee, how are you?"_

_"Fine, why are you calling?"_

_"Is it cheesy if I said that I want to hear your voice?"_

_"It is."_

_"Awe, fine, I called you because I missed you."_

_**Why do you miss me?** _

_"What's there to miss?"_

_"Everything!"_

_**Lies.** _

_"Sangyeon..."_

_"I mean your smile is so pretty-"_

_**Don't.** _

_"-I miss the way you talk so pleasantly-"_

_**Please.** _

_"-I miss your handsome face-"_

_**Stop.** _

_"-Am I being too much?"_

_**Yes.** _

_"No."_

_"I thought I was, but how could I not be, you're too beautiful to not be complimented."_

_**I'm not. Stop lying, you say that to everyone.** _

_"Chanhee, take care of yourself, okay? I love you!"_

**_Shut up..._ **

_"Annyeong."_

**[Somewhere in motherfucking South Korea]**

Sangyeon looked at his phone for a second before scrunching his eyebrows. Is Chanhee okay?

That goodbye was bit too cold for his liking

He sighed as he looked to the side. Is Chanhee sick? Is he having one of his off days again?

Suddenly, the door opened and inside came his nephew. He smiled as he opened, widely, his arms to hug the younger. His nephew hugged him, of course. Somehow, it made Sangyeon a bit calm and mellowed down his growing anxiety.

The older took a deep breath and exhaled as he caressed his nephew. He knew that he should have not peft Chanhee on his own.

He then let go of his nephew and ruffled his hair before the younger went out of his room.

Still, Chanhee... He hopes the younger is not being tempted to do questionable things again.

He closed his eyes and huffed. It's probably nothing, he's probably overreacting, he's okay, Chanhee's okay. They're okay. He should fucking sleep.

But what i-

Sangyeon. No.

**[The Boyz Dorm]**

Sangyron huffed as he carried back his suitcase. It had been a long day and he is yearning his bed. No words can explain how tired he is. He was dying raised to 1000. Then he looked up and saw Chanhee walking around.

You know what? What the fuck is exhaustion?

Sangyeon greeted the younger and opened his arms to hug him. Chanhee just looked at him before walking away and leaving the older hanging. It was embarrassing...but it's Chanhee, he hates skin contact.

Still, a greeting would have been nice, but ha! Bitch, you thought.

Meanwhile, Chanhee looked back at the entrance. Sangyeon was there. He looked down on the floor.

**_Please, stop pretending, Sangyeon. Stop making me hopeful. Stop leading me on. Stop all of this._ **

**_I don't deserve this._ **

Then someone hugged him.

"Hey," said Sangyeon. "It's kind of embarrassing to leave me hanging like that."

Chanhee huffed.

"Come on," said Sangyeon as Chanhee blushed. "Can you at least say hi?"

"Annyeong," said Chanhee as he looked to the side.

"Are you okay, love?" asked Sangyeon as Chanhee sighed.

"No. The thoughts, they came back," said Chanhee as Sangyeon put his head on the younger's shoulder before smiling.

"Chanhee..." trailed Sangyeon as Chanhee perked up when he felt the older's hot breath on his neck for a second. Then the older withdrawed.

"Sangyeon..." whined Chanhee as he turned around to face the older. He hesitated for a bit and Sangyeon noticed.

"No need to be hesitant, you know that I love you," assured the older.

"I love you too..." said Chanhee as he looked at the older. "It's just, i'm sorry that I worried you. I'm sorry for being such a hard work of a boyfriend. I'm sorry."

"Nonsense," said Sangyeon as he held the cheeks of the younger who started crying, wiping the tears off and caressing each cheek with gentle strokes. "There's no need to be sorry for. Yes, I was worried, but that's normal. Yes, you're hard work but aren't we all? There's no need to be sorry, love."

"But these thoughts, they... I'm s-"

Sangyeon immediately hugged the younger and caressed his back while Chanhee cried his heart out.

"We'll be alright, you'll be alright, we can overcome these thoughts. Believe in me, okay? Don't believe in those thoughts."

Chanhee nodded. "I'll do my best," he said though it was bit muffled since he was still being hugged by the older.

Then Juyeon and Eric came and they both screamed loudly which interrupted the atmosphere that Sangyeon and Chanhee made. It was, how do you say, mood-breaking.

"Hey guys- Oh, is this a K-Drama shit where the guy hugs the girl and confesses and stuff?" asked Eric as Sangyeon smiled bitterly.

"Can...Can you guys get out?" asked Sangyeon as the duo went to the kitchen and away from the living room where Sangyeon and New were.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
